I mentioned recently Mike Roe and the 77's, a rock band which provided some music on the darker side for some of us in the Christian Halfway House. A lot of his songs have to do with the disappointments of the love affairs of youth. Sanguine on the music, melancholic on relationships, struggling with "the lonely crowd" (Riesman's concept and book now a sociology classic)
One of their earlier albums was called, "Sticks and Stones," and was well known for one ironic reason; Side A features a song called, "This is the Way Love is," with the chorus including the statement that love is: "one-sided, double-minded mirror with no reflection." Clever. But side B has no Roe at all. Someone at "Broken Records" and company mistakenly put what I guess I could only call Christian Easy Listening, as I might have called it in my more rash and impertinent days.
It includes some songs familiar to many "ordinary" Christians in the West, such as, "The More Excellent Way," and "Make me a Servant," which largely speak to the qualities of genuine love, which, as Paul avowed in 1Cor 13, is never self serving, nor merely a mirror of our own feelings, but an effort to escape the distortion- mirrors of teenage angst and self-consciousness which is so biologically present at that age.
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Whereas in those days I was upset and irritated by this "unmet expectation," when I listened this time I was greatly relieved to find that Roe was wrong. It brought me back to our wedding day when we affirmed Paul's words and his near-absolute definition of love. With the steadiness of Flo, that definition has become a daily reality, tho I still struggle with selfishness much more than she does--hence I know, practically speaking, what "unconditional love" is-- and this is what Love Really Is. McWorld may agree with this in principle, but the practices it sells are quite the opposite.
In fact, I would say that my attraction to the 77's of old is part of my partial refusal to grow up. I could say that about all my preoccupations with hard rock--which is almost entirely about power, certainly not about love--as opposed to the simple commands of Christ, which are "not grievous," not impossible, and not to be neglected. The "easy listening" songs hit me much harder last week, and in a much more needy spot, than this early music of youth.
The book of Numbers, in Chapter 30, deals entirely with vows. And how they can be superseded. For men, sadly, there was left little recourse except to pay them and to keep their promises. You can choose your options, as it has been said, but not your consequences. I also might add that vows leave scars; that our culture is perpetually adolescent and virtually parentless on the whole, being defined largely by contracts, not covenants; and that the youth of my generation suffered from too much money and privilege and determined to deliberatly poison their own nest--and, sad to add, their own marriages and children. After a very bad start, but also after 30 more years, I can say that all of that wisdom and most of those feelings were bogus. Love does drive us--but if there is no working and bedrock definition, love loses all power and is utterly inconvincing and fickle to the core. There is virtually nothing at which to aim.
Another line of Roe's from that era was, "You won't change me, that I know!" Well surprise x 3!!!
"Never tell God what you won't do"--because that may well be the very thing he requires of you--and I would add, the very thing you will need to go forward from the glue factory of youth culture. Roe, to his credit, and some of his friends, did actually grow up. No doubt they were very angry with "Broken Records" at the time--but from what I hear from The Lost Dogs, there really isn't anything on Side B with which they would now disagree. Roe was ironically blessed by an antidote to his own despair, on his own recording! Stange and Wonderful how God breaks in--with, uh, "mistakes."
Unconditional Love is Real, folks; "that I know." Not impossible at all; and we all can live under its umbrella--if we want it--"come and get it..."
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